The Masquerade...

If so and if not so, will that make any difference to you whether or not the thing that be is the thing that is? What difference does it make if anything is supposed or is not supposed to happen? Why live? When sadness arrives, what gives?

If the one that is found is not the one that is created how far can feelings go? What is the single most thing worth living for?

Riddle me this:

Sun, eons, flamboyant rays, cubical cones,
Certainty is as certainty does,
What certainty, what fate may befall?
Of one does it, one does not, one leaves it all...?

Answers... Stories... Lies...

When will the masquerade end? One of these days we are leaving for the farplane... What existed, left, sounded, eternity?

Our Promise...

Remember when, long before time, we used to sit together and talk?

Bright sun, sparkling fountain... Running river, silent whispers... January dreams... Spring blooms, flower festivals...

The only person whose presence was worth waiting for...

Sunset, sunrise, morning came... Afternoon tea, February warmth... A ring, played... Fairy tales, horses and kings, angels...

The only person whose warmth encapsulated my soul...

Grass flowers, green pastures... Midnight tea, silence... A painting of you, a poem, a sonnet... March caleidoscope, embracing...

The only person whose eyes glistened...

Written messages... Crystal chandeliers, evening gowns... April rendezvous... We danced as if there were no one around us... Remember?

The only person I would only dance with...

Whispers... Secret language, and adventure, just the two of us... May embraces... Silver moonlight, summer breeze...

The only person whose language I understood...

A hug, a kiss... Unforgetable walk down the promenade... June stars... Twinkling stars... Flower bouquets...

The only person whom I would walk with...

A love song... Closed eyes, earthen paradise... A raft afloat in the middle of the lake... July sky... Clear water, sanctified promise...

The only person who could contain me...

Clasped hands... A church in the middle of the forest... A solemn mass... August memories... White doves... Silken ribbons...

The only person I could trust...

Enchanted evening, September rain... Dances, masquerades... You were always able to find me amongst those people...

The only person who could pierce through all my pretenses.

The secret passages, October wishes... Stormy sky... Yet through it all your wings glistened, amongst those people...

The only person whose wings sheltered me from the storm...

Autumn leaves, November night serenade... Your music, the piano sang, an ode, embellished by the tears we shed... Candlelight prayers, words unspoken yet told...

The only person whose silent voice was heard...

White snow, magic crystals... Serene winter, December rhapsody... Prayers, wishes... Promises... A chalice on the pedestal, a solemn promise... Oath? Sacred...

The only person whose words I treasured...

When you asked for my hand... When you took me away from the crowd... When you found me... When you looked at me... When we danced... Did you know those were the times I learned to love you?

Our promise is as ancient and our fates... Will you remember? Will you find me again, like you did once? Will we ever set our eyes on each other, like we did? Will our wish come true? Will we keep our solemn promise? Will we stand through the test of time? Will our believes falter?

As long as neither of us broke the promise, it shall last...

I love you and I shall always wait for you so,

Find me... Just like you did before...

Find me, I shall be waiting...

When I Seek You...

I could not see clearly...

Was I dreaming?

Was I asleep?

Through time I keep my faith in you...

Have you forgotten?

Do you not remember?

We weave our dreams silken...

A promise held, a chalice on a pedestal,

Wingspan of the doves,

Magic chandeliers...

A life sheltered,

A secret kiss...

Our solemn promise,

Secret gardens,

Earthen paradise...

I seek you, please find me...

Because I know I can never be complete without you...

I seek you, please find me...

Because I know there lies my path home...

In masquerade,

Will you find me?

'Till eternity,

Will you seek for me?

Our solemn promise,

Will you keep it?

In a love that never falters,

Memories about you lies,

Crystals...

Dreams...

Lights...

And... You...

If You Love Me...

Be with me,

Stay with me,

Walk with me,

Talk to me,

Speak to me,

Hear me,

Tell me,

Listen to me,

Stand in the rain with me,

Hug me,

Kiss me,

Touch me,

Whisper to me,

Trust in me,

Believe in me,

Share with me,

Dream with me,

Embrace me,

Lift me,

Sing with me,

Dance with me,

Lay under the stars with me,

Sit at the piano with me,

Wish with me,

Pray with me,

Bear with me,

Laugh with me,

Smile with me,

Cry with me,

Live with me,

Forgive me,

Feel me,

Fly with me,

Understand me,

Care for me,

Take care of me,

Sanctify me,

Want me,

Save me,

Protect me,

Respect me,

Treasure me,

Pamper me,

Comfort me,

Promise me,

Remember me,

Seek for me,

Find me...

And the most important thing...

Do not give me up and do not give up on me...

Till infinity...

Build Me a Sepulcher, My Love...

Build me a sepulcher, my love…
Build me a burial, my love,
Build me a chamber, filled will flowers,
Build me a tomb, encapsulated in earth,
Build me a crypt that no one enters,
Build me a grave so my soul will be saved…

For my life flutters before me,
Its wings are broken,
Enough of this and let me rest,
Let me rest so that I may forget,
The past, the present, and the future,
Let me rest so you may forget,
My love, my soul, and my existence…

Build me a sepulcher, my love…
Let me climb the stairs to the far plane,
Let me greet Azrael and his minions,
Let my soul rise and fall,
Along the tide of the Lethe River,

A sanctuary I sought,
Forgiveness I found,
Regret I cast away,
Love I embrace,
Hurt, pain, guilt…
My feelings…

Let then be eons later,
We shall forget,
In a much better world,
Where feelings and regret do not exist…
Prayers for you, my love,
Do not give up,
For I believe in you…

While I am asleep,
Do forget me,
Yet do be confident,
For someone loves you,
Someone trusts you
Till infinity…

Bellamy: On Society...

"... I cannot do better than to compare society as it then was to a prodigious coach which the masses of humanity were harnessed to and dragged toilsomely along a very hilly and sandy road. The driver was hunger, and permitted no lagging, though the pace was necessarily very slow..."

(From Looking Backward 2000 - 1887, Edward Bellamy)

Does this not remind you of anything current in our society?

The Soul of Spirit...

Spirit is a woman that shall not stop dancing... Through the spectrums of her life... She was born the way she is...

While Spirit dances, she sees the world in all its splendor. She is not a dancer... Yet she dances through her life.

"Why does she dance? When did she begin to dance? Why does she dance?"

"Of all things in this world,

I feel free when I dance...

My eyes are closed yet my heart sees..."

"Spirit... Spirit... My dear Spirit... How far have you gotten in life? Do you not know what colors stain your background?"

"I see, I see, believe me I see...

Colors of blood, colors of sea...

Yet does it not occur to you that they are beautiful?"

"Should you stumble, Spirit? Should your feet tire? Should your soul rest?"

"No time, no time...

I have so much to do yet so little time,

Should I stumble I shall stain my rainbow crimson red,

Should my feet tire I shall stain my rainbow purple,

Should my soul rest I shall stain my rainbow white...

Spectrum is all I seek for in life,

I shall not stop..."

"Why spectrum, Spirit? Why?"

"Spectrum is the one thing I have left to color my rainbow with...

I have to gather as much spectrum as I can...

I have so much to do yet so little time..."

"Courage, Spirit? Courage?"

"No, you are mistaken... Regret, dearest, regret...

I have so much to do yet so little time..."

"Regret?"

"I have so much to do yet so little time, so I dance...

Because even as my feet hurt, as my soul flies, as time flows... I dance...

Because I love... Therefore I have no regret..."

"Love?"

"Yes... Simply love. I dance because I love. Although it hurts I shall not stop... And let there be no regret although I have so much to do yet so little time..."

Spirit is the soul of a woman that dances through life. She shall never stop dancing... Through spectrums of her life...

Because she simply is... Spirit...

How Much Do I Love You...?

As much as anything could possibly be...
I love you without any pretext or condition,
Without any reason...

Even as my memories falter,
I know my love will still be there,
That's how much I love you...

I know nothing of my own joy,
I pray for none other joy than yours,
Even if that cost me mine...

The wish I had was for you and you alone,
Do you not know?
Even as I cry in silence,
I kept my wish...

How much do I love you?
As much as anything could ever be,
That is why I chose to leave,
Prayers be with you,
Hoping happiness and success come your way...

Even if you will forget me,
I will not regret,
For I know I shall never forget you...

How much do I love you?
As much as anything could ever be,
Let it not be known that I do,
Let you live without the knowledge of my love,
For it shall only cause you pain...

When you wake up you shall forget,
Even the mere existence of me...
I love you, that was why I left,
Because I know...
And I do believe,
My wish would come true...

On Learning...

The thing about learning, the most beautiful thing about learning is that the process has no beginning or the end.

You learn something new everyday.

So why fret? Why sulk? Why frown?

Even failure teaches you to rejoice when success comes your way. Had not you experience failure, would you be able to taste success?

The most important thing about learning is not who is better or worse, it is about knowing things you do not know before. It is about experiencing a new world in a new perspective. It is about looking outwards toward the future, broadening your horizons... to infinity...

How can you expect learning to be accomplished in one day if it is a lifetime process?

Is it not the joy itself when you strive hard for knowledge?

When you discover it pieces by pieces,

And when you assemble those pieces to a picture?

The treasury of learning is the process itself.

Knowing that you are resilient enough to persevere, even amidst seemingly impossible conditions. Knowing that you have a gift of learning, that you are given the privilege of knowing things you did not know before...

Think about it and learn... Do not ever defame yourself for it is not worth your feelings...

Think... and may faith be your guidance,

May love be your wings,

And may knowledge your power...

And then soar to the blue sky...

See the world in all its splendor and grandeur....

Dedicated to my little brother, do perservere, you have it in you, I believe you!

On Science...

My first love and my eternal love, really...
I cannot imagine my life without "it."

Come to think of it, it is strange. No one can make me cry the way Science does. I do cry for people, but... the one thing that manipulates my emotion so is Science. I can cry, I can laugh, I can be afraid, I can love... thanks to Science.

Have I never loved any human being? Oh well, I do. I loved my dear friends, families, everyone I will meet in the future. Yet I have never felt something stronger than this.

I think I am strange. That is alright with me...
Science has always been there for me as a consolation...

I know I will not be able to love someone and be loved back in return, other than as a friend or family... Yet Science can do that for me... Science, it... brought out the best of me and it challenged me the way I wanted to be challenged. It will stay with me, not forever... but until my memories falter...

It gave me a world where I could live safely.

I do not know if I would want to share that world with anyone... I do not think someone would want to share it with me. I do not see it as a problem...

My point is... Although I gave up on humans long ago, I would never give up on Science.

On Changes...

Changes are good in a way, however it can also be the one thing that prevents you from what you like the most.

In the name of love people have always tried to change the one person they love the most to be according to their images.

Tell me, then, does the person stays the same person?

Is the person not mere product of imagination?

How can you love someone without a "soul"?

Since when does love turn to this impenetrable fortress or unbreakable chain? Is not meant to be as a freer instead of imprisonment?

When wishing for someone or something to change... Is that a fair enough wish? If the one we love in dreams are so precious, why give feelings to someone else then try to change the person according to what is in dream?

Is it not the beauty of the soul that is the most important?

Is it not the fact that the person can love you back that is the most important?

Is it not the truth that when a person is capable of loving another that is a miracle?

Sacrifices? Does love need sacrifices? Anything you did, do, or will do for the person you love, shouldn't it be done out of "pleasure"? Because you love the person, you do something for the person. Because you like the person, you give the person something...

How can a gift from the heart demand something in return?

How can a deed out of free will be something in need of motive?

How can you claim that to love is to sacrifice?

To deprive someone of pleasure or joy or happiness in the name of love... Is that love itself? Is it not about wishing for others? Despite our own wishes?

When you open your eyes and see the person in front of you,

Rejoice and be glad for who they are.

When you tell someone and whisper in the person's ear,

Say it and mean it.

For whoever person has your love and love you in return has made a dent in your life,

Try as you may, yet love never ends.

Its beginning is as ancient as the universe itself,

And it spans to eternity...

Changes are good, be it done out of free will. Yet do not, for your pleasure, change someone. When you love the person for who and what they are, that is when the miracles start to unfold. That is when you see the masterpiece and the whole meaning of you, your existence...

Ad infinitum...

Love is...

How would you define "love"? That was what one person asked me this morning. And here's my answer:

"I would define love simply as something unconditional. Something that you do out of no reason at all. You gave something, yet you wished for nothing in return. You give because you want to, because you like it. It's something intangible, hard to define yet it's more real than anything else you've ever seen in this whole world."

The person added something, he said:

"I'll add to that, a sense of acceptance. You do things not because you want to change the person, you accept the person the way the person is..."

It's an interesting conversation to be held in a church. I must admit that the person, older than I am, has aged accordingly...

What is your definition?

Am I Full of Myself?

Am I full of myself?
Maybe, but not quite so...
I have never given anyone a break,
So why should I give myself one?

Am I full of myself?
Maybe, but not quite so...
I have been with myself for long,
We went through a lot and shared a lot...

Am I full of myself?
Maybe, I am.
But in anyways, I am happy.

I love my life the way it is,
If that meant I were full of myself, then I would take that...