On Relationships...

What a relationship is all about...

It is about sharing,
It is about caring,
It is about forgiving,
It is about tolerating aberrant behaviors...

I have my own doubt whenever I embark on a journey that involves relationship with others, be it as friends, close friends, or romantic ones. Sometimes the feeling was so immense that it urged me to give up even before the journey started. Sometimes I managed to overcome my doubts and embarked on a journey. Often times, my journeys were timeless and often times they were short ones.

I once embarked on a journey of friendship which turned out to be nothing but false masquerade.
I once embarked on a journey of romantic relationship which turned out to be nothing but false suggestive feelings.
I once embarked on a journey of mere friendship which turned out to be an everlasting discovery that nourished my soul and nurtured my conscience.
I once embarked on a journey of mere romantic relationship which turned out to be a journey worth remembering for the rest of my life.

They say first impression counts, but who are they to judge? What if what is seen on the surface is not what it is on the inside? The shell is nothing but mere ornament. It is the heart that accounts for everything. Whoever thought that ordinary people that are friends with me turned out to be the people whom I could trust even with my life? Whoever thought that extraordinary people who extravagantly claimed that they were my truest friends were mere impostors?

So if you ask me what a relationship is all about...

It is about... learning, educating, knowing, discovering, inventing, supporting, waiting, staying, sharing, caring, tolerating, communicating, forgiving, forgetting, thinking, and most of all... it is encapsulated in "loving"...

Blessed are the people who say nothing yet did something,

Blessed are the ones who find them and blessed are the ones who seek them,

Words means nothing unless they are said and done.

A relationship is a journey. It can be a neverending journey, and it can also be a short stop. There are choices and with every choice, there will be consequences. Nonetheless... a relationship worth keeping will worth every single consequence in life...

(Dedicated to my loved ones: GK, YS, ML, DS, RY, VC, KS, EK, and all others... Love you all with all my heart and thank you for making my life a lifelong journey of learning....)

Sometimes...

Sometimes I want to just sleep and never wake up,

Sometimes I want to live,

Sometimes I want to be alone,

Sometimes I want to spend time with you...

I have no idea what I truly want in life,

Nor do I have any faintest idea on what it is...

Take a wild guess,

You shall soon see,

I have nothing to hide,

Nothing at all...

Fragrant dew in the morning,

Says something about the crow's mourning,

The mockingbird's singing,

Along the tree branch swinging...

Be it my cause or my reason,

I have not committed any treason,

Because I know I live,

According to my own principle...

I Wish...

I wish I could see you,
I wish I could recognize you,
I wish you would be there,
I wish you would hold our promise...

Where are you?

Why can't I see you?

I wish I were endowed by a pair of wings,
So I know how to find you and let my heart sing,
Was I born with the knowledge?
Were you born with the knowledge?

I seek you,

Find me...

Why does it matter how our story will end?
Why am I so afraid of losing you?
Where are you?
Have you forgotten about our promise?

That day we made the promise,

That day when all things beautiful happened...

Who are you?
Do you know me?
Do I know you?
If so, why couldn't we be together?

Everything reminds me of you,

Until when?

Is it something we learn?
Or is it something we find?
Is it something we discover?
Or is it something we invent?

Tell me,

Because I will always make a wish for you...

Con Te Partiro...

I have had a difficult time thinking and re-thinking about our past, but you know, sometimes things just have to end. There is no such thing, and there will be no such thing, as a never-ending party.

There's always the beginning and there's always the end. This has nothing to do with forgiveness. I forgive you and I really hold no grudge against you. Nor I ever found you guilty. Just that, you know that we came from separate worlds. You know that we had little in common... So let's go our separate ways and find peace within our minds.

Why can't we start over again? Because what you did destroyed everything we built together throughout the years. To build something, to re-build something out of debris would cause us even more grief and suffering. It is better if we merely accept that things are falling apart and the most sensible way to recover is... by us saying to each other, "Good bye..."

Someday, sometime, maybe you'll meet someone who would be willing to try again. Our time ends here. We had two years of friendship, why not cherish that and accept the fact that the story ends here?

This has nothing to do with forgiveness...
This is merely the end.
To us, this is a start,
A beginning of a journey to find someone that could understand us,
That person is not me,
That person is not you,
So let me say this once again,
"Good bye, my friend, thank you for two years of wonderful friendship..."

Some things are not meant to be. To that, nothing we can do to salvage whatever is left. But if we look ahead for a future, I'm sure that we'll be alright...